Being Happy is a Choice
Posted on Jan 18, 2011 by Hayley Daniels-Lake
I know, people are always saying that being happy is a choice and believe me – I hate that saying as much as anyone but despite that it really is true. Have you ever noticed how some people seem to stay positive no matter what life throws at them whilst others get knocked back at every little setback? It's all down to the way they see life. I'm not for one minute trying to imply that it's easy to change your outlook or to see the positive side of things. What I am saying is that with a little bit of work it is possible and what's a little bit of hard work when your future happiness is at stake?
As adults, we focus a lot on our “failures” and tend to ignore our strengths. I believe this is a part of our problem, after all, if were spending so much time looking at what we can't do instead of what we can then is it any wonder we begin to feel bad about ourselves? I talked about failures in one of my older articles but I believe it is worth going over again here. Think of a toddler learning to walk, when they fall down or trip over they don't see it as a failure, they don't give up and believe themselves incapable of walking. They don't have any understanding of what a failure is because it doesn't exist to them. A sense of failure is something we develop as we grow up, to a child a failure is nothing more then a learning experience. When a toddler tries to walk and falls they use that experience to learn what didn't work in order to try something new next time and through this process of trial and error they learn to walk. It is through their many “failures” that they eventually learn to succeed. This is the same for us as adults. Instead of seeing failures as a failure see it as a learning experience, use what you learned does not work in order to eventually achieve success. This, in itself, will go a long way to changing your outlook on life.
Similarly, when recounting our day to our friends and partners we tend to focus in the negatives of the day, you had an argument with your boss, you didn't get the promotion you wanted, you haven't got the money you need to pay a particular bill. There is nothing wrong in talking about what went wrong or problems you may be facing. The problem comes when this is the main focus of your thoughts. Instead of focusing on the negatives of your day, or even your week, learn to see the positives. Good things happen to us all the time we just don't always pay enough attention to notice them or we are so busy focusing on the negatives that the positives don't seem to make much of a difference. I read once about someone who wrote thank you letters to everyone and everything. She wrote thank you letters even for the bad things that happened. For instance, she wrote a thank you note to a car accident because as her car was in for repairs she had to ride her bike a friends and due to this she saw the sunrise. Now that's putting a positive spin on things!
Try it for yourself, try to see things in a positive light, no matter how negative they may seem at the time. This will take some time to get used to but it is possible and it will make a massive difference to your life.