Is this work related stress, or just anger?

Is this work related stress, or just anger?

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Home » Diagnosing » Is this work related stress, or just anger? » Is this work related stress, or just anger?


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fingus says:
1 Mar 2012 | 21:50:45
I am unsure whether what I am experiencing is classified as workplace stress. I have experienced a series of broken verbal promises relating to my career and promotion. Having been previously told that in next round of promotions I would be promoted, as the time neared, I was then told that I needed to show more evidence of expertise in certain areas. I didn’t have a line manager at the time, but a new manager was due to start. I was informed that one of the first tasks this manager would be set would be to work with me to improve in the one area that I was lacking in. This never happened and I had to instigate the conversation with the new manager and trigger the action to take place. The manager was also surprised that I was not already holding the more senior position, as they had assumed I already was. My peers have also expressed that I am attaining this level already, and I am just as strong (if not stronger in some areas) as other staff at this level. I feel like I have been unfairly held back, and have had a series of previous unfulfilled verbal promises and expectations set.

This has really hacked me off. As a result of feeling held back, let down and promises broken, I have gone beyond feeling angry and have developed ulcerations of the mouth, lost sleep, become irritable and begun to disengage from the work I love and not felt like joining in as socially as I normally would with my colleagues.

I have had no problem with the workload, which is the HSE’s formal definition of stress: “The adverse reaction people have to excessive pressures or other types of demand placed on them at work.” Am I just experiencing anger, that I am finding difficult to manage, or are the symptoms that I have experienced as a result of this episode causing stress? Any help will be greatly appreciated.
edited by fingus on 01-03-2012

David Bredin says:
1 Mar 2012 | 22:57:06
Hello Fingus,

Your experience is not unusual, although frustrating in the daily life of hard-working people. Everyone needs to be appreciated - some more than others, but it is important that recognition and reward for good work is properly given.
It seems to me that you are well able to cope with the work that you love AND that you are in a good position to challenge the 'broken verbal promises' about which you relate.
We all have choices and although the choices we make may have intended and unintended outcomes, It really depends on how important to you doing the work (that you love) under the conditions you describe, is for you.
Ultimately it is a matter for you to decide and to take the necessary action to move forward.

take care and good luck,

David

Ida Falk says:
2 Mar 2012 | 11:27:57
Hej Fingus
To me it sounds as if you are justified in your anger because you have not been promoted.
the question is, why you have not been promoted. Is it because your surroundings are not aware of your competencies and then if so why? Are you good enough at promoting yourself careerwise and are you deemed a really valuable memer of the staff by your boss? Of not why is that???

The fact that you are having physical symptoms around your mouth -( the part we use to speak up with..hmmm), tells me that you are dealing with the situation in a destructive manner for yourself making yourself ill, instead of looking at what your possibilities are.

Do you prommote yourself in an assertive and clear manner? Are you full of selfconfidence - do you need your job more than your job needs you??? Are there other workplaces that would appreciate you more???

If you exude lack of selfconfidence chances are that you are juged as a person that is not as big an asset to the firm, as you would be, if you where full of selfconfidence and trust in yourself and your competencies.

You could also ask for a jobddescription to see if you are fullfilling all the requiements. If you do, ask for a meeting with you boss. During this meeting assert yourself in a confident and professionel way and make your argumentation for a promotion to go your way. If denied ask for clear reasons if you strongly disagree with your boss, look around for similar jobs and compare.

You can try and send out a couple of jobapplications, go to a couple of interviews and you can be certain, that you will feel appreciated in a whole new way, that may make you feel like you have choices. Knowing that you have choices brings with it a feeling of worth that is priceless and clearly noticable by all around you none the least your boss.Perhaps she/ he will change their opinions.

All in all the choice and responsibility is entirely yours, either you can learn to deal more constructively with you anger and with the promotion of your worth or you can continue internalizing your anger, getting stresed out which may in time turn to a stressrelated illness.

I believe I can help you get on the right track again. Feel free to contact me for a session.

Sincerely

Ida

Nigel Lewis says:
13 Mar 2012 | 21:02:51
Hi Fingus
One of the greatest indicators of stress, is the feeling of not being in control. Many people in the workplace are under extreme pressure but it moves into stress as the feeling of being in charge runs away from us.
Resentment is a form of anger that is debilitating. Your treatment deservedly makes you feel angry. When you feel angry you are less able to remain in control and think clearly. So it becomes a snowball that grows into a stressball!
The longer you sit in anger the harder it becomes to be assertive and clearly communicate your feelings. The more you keep your feelings inside they either hide and come back and bite you later or they build up and fester.
You seem to be in control in that you were assertive in letting your new manager know your feelings so that suggests to me that you are under pressure but not too stressed. Do you write a daily journal? That can help document verbal promises and also examine your feelings. It can help bring back balance that helps towards clarity.
Do you have a daily practice that helps you to maintain your physical health? Excercise and meditation can also help in maintaining balance. Irritability, mouth ulcers and sleeplessness are all indicators that you are physically taking the resentment to a level that can only reduce your positivity.
You are respected by your peers and feeling resentment can induce a desire to become more aloof, but that is not going to help maintain the good relationship you clearly have built up with your colleagues.
Try to focus on how you can become the best you that you can be. If you try to make being even better the focus of your attention, hopefully the resentment will reduce and you will create a really positive image with you new manager and with him onside get the promotion you deserve.
Try to build passion, purpose and be open to possibility. Then perform to the best of your ability. If they continue to ignore the “best you”, maybe you are ready for a change?
Anger and resentment are a choice, they rarely help because they usually invite opposition. Hopefully by now all I have written is academic because you will have taken back control when you have that you are on track.
Make your luck you are too good to waste energy on people that do not recognise you!
Nigel Lewis